I feel like I need 3 of me. I am always on the go with the daycare and then the boys. I don't get a lot of time to myself. If I do go out or anything I make sure the boys are taken care of, dinner or bath and PJ's on. So that Billy doesn't have to do it all himself. Maybe I should just do it so he knows what's it's like to work all day, make dinner and get the boys bathed and to bed by himself. Billy helps a little but I just feel like I'm doing this all by myself. He get to go to work alone, lunch break and drive home. He gets his time to unwind or just breath. I don't get that. He'll ask me how my day was and I tell him and he's like I bet your stressed...Ok so maybe you could put the boys to bed but that doesn't happen if he's not in the garage then he's sleeping on the couch. He does help but I feel like he could help more and I feel like he doesn't appreciate anything I do or see how hard I work. I'm stressed and feel gross. I have to ask for complements and if we have sex it's from behind now. Not really sure what that's about and we're not having sex as much as we used to. He's tired because he goes to the gym every morning at 4 and then works and comes home. I know he's tired and he does work hard but he's not the only one who works hard and what do I get? I get to go to the grocery store for a few hours.
I'll talk to him about it and he gets pissed off or it will get better for a while and then back to the same ol' same ol'. Like tonight he came home and I've had a horrible headache all day that I can't get rid of and what does he tell me. Ben's coming over to work on his bike but I told him I need to put the boys to bed so he'll be over around 7:30. OK. Nathan fell asleep at 6:30 and he picked him up and put him in bed and Ethan fell asleep at 9:20 and I had to fight with him to get him to sleep and where was Billy...not helping me put Ethan to bed! He was in the garage hanging out working on my truck but he didn't have any kids hanging off him. Sunday I had to clean the house with the boys and he was in the garage cleaning it. Ethan did go out there for a little bit but mainly he was in the house making a mess while I was trying to stay a step ahead of him. I love my kids I do but I need a break and I'm not saying I want him to do it all I just want him to appreciate what I do.
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